banner image

How to Overcome Fear of Judgement When Coming Out as Queer

The journey of coming out as queer or transgender is a terrifying and empowering experience. It's our first time showing the world our most vulnerable and authentic selves. We get to take the mask off, practice communicating our feelings, and we get our first opportunity to create healthy boundaries. 

Starting a journey of self-discovery, courage, and vulnerability can be scary for many folks in the LGBTQ+ family. The thought of being judged by family, friends, or coworkers can be overwhelming and cause anxiety and insecurity. But remember, you are not alone on this path. Let's find ways to overcome these fears, love, and accept yourself just as you are!


Understanding Anxiety:

  1. Anxiety is more than just feeling nervous or worried. Feeling constant anxiety can disrupt all areas of our lives.
  2. Recognizing and understanding these symptoms is the first step in managing them effectively.

Relaxation Tools:

  1. Deep breathing exercises, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation are effective techniques for calming the mind and body.
  2. Set aside time daily to practice these techniques, even just a few minutes. Consistency is key to reaping the benefits of relaxation.

Positive Self-Talk:

  1. Cultivate a compassionate and empowering inner dialogue.
  2. Remind yourself of your worth, strength, and resilience.
  3. Affirmations such as "I am worthy of love and acceptance just as I am" or "I am brave and courageous in sharing my truth" can help shift your mindset towards self-compassion and confidence.

Coping with Worst-Case Scenarios:

  1. Seek support from LGBTQ+ support groups, mental health professionals, or trusted friends.
  2. Building a supportive community of individuals who understand and validate your experiences is invaluable in navigating the uncertainties of coming out.

Best-Case Scenarios:

  1. Picture a world where acceptance, love, and authenticity are celebrated.
  2. Imagine your family embracing you with open arms, friends standing by your side as unwavering allies and coworkers respecting and affirming your identity.
  3. Best-case scenarios involve genuine connections, meaningful relationships, and a sense of belonging in your personal and professional environments.


Your coming out journey is truly remarkable and unique to you. It takes courage, vulnerability, and strength to be true to yourself, and I admire you for that. It's okay to feel scared or worried about what others might think, but always remember that you are worthy of love and acceptance just as you are. Trust yourself and your feelings, and surround yourself with people who celebrate and support your authenticity. If you would like to schedule some one-on-one support with a Therapist in California, click this link to schedule a FREE intro session with me today!


Other helpful blogs:

5 Tips for Coming Out to Family During Thanksgiving

Family Issues Experienced by LGBTQ Individuals

Benefits of Gender-Affirming Care